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BY JACOB ZHIVOV
August 21, 2003
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I don't really see a need to remake a film, it's been
done once, why should you try to change what's already been done?
Because you can't think of (or afford) a better idea.
Plus, people will go see it just to find out how bad you fucked it
The other thing, remakes usually turn out shittier than
the original, Psycho my case in point. However, I didn't feel ripped
off leaving the new version of The Italian Job so you shouldn't really
Yeah, but you watch Charmed.
In the new version, much like in the old one, Charlie
Croker and his gang of thieves plan to heist a shipment of gold bullion
in transit by creating a major traffic jam. Unlike the original, the
heist takes place on the streets of Los Angeles instead of in Italy.
Los Angeles is cheaper. Also, modern American teenagers
don't know what Italy is.
Also unlike the original, the traffic jam is more about
computer hacking than clever planning but nonetheless you can enjoy
this film for its high speed Mini Minor chase and "cool"
one liners from super cool Mark Wahlberg.
I hope that Mini chase is worth the ticket price. I'm
guessing it isn't. Let me add that I haven't seen the movie we're
Now, I sound like I didn't enjoy this film, but in fact
I did, it is just that I enjoyed the original a lot more. Hey, the
original had Michael Caine and in his day he would shit all over Marky
Mark, some would even say he would still at his age.
Michael Caine shat on Mark Wahlberg last week, but I'd
prefer you not bring it up again. What happens at the Viper Room stays
at the Viper Room.
THE ITALIAN JOB is rated M and runs 111 minutes. It
stars Mark Wahlberg, Edward Norton and Charlize Theron.
BUFFALO SOLDIERS is rated MA 15+ and runs 98 minutes.
It stars Joachin Phoenix, Ed Harris, Scott Glenn and Anna Paquin.
BIKER BOYZ is no longer in cinemas.