04. JOHANNA GRIGGS | 7
She used to be a swimmer. Now she isn't.
She used to be married to Gary Sweet. Now she isn't.
Seven wish she was Catriona Rowntree. She isn't. But
they're happy to slot her in anywhere they can: Sportsworld,
Auction Squad, The Australian Open, etc. Hey, if you
can't own a Matchbox car, a Hot Wheels is good enough...
03. JAMIE DURIE | 9 |
He's chiselled, bland, and a gardener.
He looks good shirtless. He's exactly what you need
when you're the biggest TV network in the country, but
all your hottest male stars are pudgy, old or bearded.
Like black pants or Tabasco sauce, he goes with everything,
heats up whatever he touches and is easily replaceable
if you lose him somewhere.
02. CATRIONA ROWNTREE | 9
Catriona's are currently the most famous
breasts on Australian TV; certainly they are the most
familiar to the widest sector of the
Catriona Rowntree has jumped directly
to the No. 2 spot on the Whories list this year thanks
to strategic employment of her two best
assets. Appearances on the National IQ and Driving Tests
with Whories No. 1 placer Eddie McGuire, plus representing
Nine on those
digital television advertisements (and don't forget
her many scantily-clad promos!) has brought Catriona
to the peak of the Whories heap. And to think she once
served, unseen, on the radio!
Yes, whether it's a low cut top with Wonder-Bra
action or straight to the bikini shot on the beach,
that friendly smile and those special
mammaries have kept Getaway -- and Catriona -- afloat.
And our Whories winner is:
01. EDDIE McGUIRE | 9 |
UP FROM 3
McGinlay's sport correspondent Kent Winzer
puts it best:
"Eddie McGuire is clearly Australia's
Whoriest Whore. 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire', 'The
Footy Show', the Logies, the Spring Racing Carnival,
the 'National Driving Test', and the 'National IQ Test'
are all testament to this fact. Add to this his conflicts
of interest with his Collingwood [Football Club] presidency,
and it's a neat little package. Not too bad for someone
who began as an untalented journalist with
Eddie knows what he's doing. Even turning
off the TV won't silence him: he's got the radio, too.
Is there any escape? No. No, there's not.
We congratulate his head on having arguably the most
media exposure of any in the country, but is there anywhere
his grinning mug can go from here other than down and
away? Millions hope not.
11. MIKE MUNRO | 9 |
DOWN FROM 6
12. DYLAN LEWIS | 10 | NEW
13. DEBORAH HUTTON | 9 | NEW
14. LEAH McLEOD | 9 | NEW
15. IAN THORPE | 7 | NEW
OFF THE RADAR
RICHARD WILKINS | 9 |
DOWN FROM 1
KERRI-ANNE KENNERLEY | 9 | DOWN
TIM FERGUSON | 9 | DOWN FROM
MOIRA, FROM GMA | 10 | DOWN
STEVEN JACOBS | 9 | DOWN FROM
AND DON'T FORGET...
ON THE RISE: Angus Samson, Wil
Anderson, Bec Cartwright
BIGGEST WHOREHOUSES ON AUSTRALIAN TV:
Good Morning Australia, Big Brother, Rove
WORST ACTS OF TV PROSTITUTION, 2003:
Lisa McCune's Coles ads, Don Burke "shaving"
his beard, the British chick on Big Brother, Bec Cartwright's
album, Amity Dry's album, Rose Porteous in general
WHORES WITH HEARTS OF GOLD: Rove
McManus, Samuel Johnson
And that's the list! Goodnight, Australia!...