Patrick McGinlay's Internet Tendency

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JANUARY 18, 2005

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Hey kids, do you like martial arts? Do you like smarmy old guys? Do you like smartarse 13 year old girls? Do you like mystic prophecy stuff? Do you like Jennifer Garner in tight cleavage producing clothing? Yes? Then you'll love this movie.

Set two years after Elektra's death in the Daredevil movie we now find Elektra as an assassin for hire. She also now has some really awesome abilities and seems to be really good at her work. Elektra is hired for a job but after meeting Abby (Kirsten Prout) and her father Mark (Goran Visnjic) she realises that she must help them escape The Hand, an organisation intent on reigning evil over the world.

Elektra is not a bad film however I just felt that it was lacking something. Maybe it's because we're being inundated with comic book movies and since many of them follow the same themes it's just becoming all too bland. This film does do better than some of the other comic book films I have reviewed…cough…League of Extraordinary Gentlemen…cough.

I think the problem with Elektra is that it doesn't have a longer run time. At 97 minutes it has to rush through some crucial parts of the plot. Now, I've said this before but comic book movies need to be longer if there are going to truly transfer the comic to the big screen but understandably Elektra doesn't have the following of the X-men or Spider-man and hence they need to be cut down.

Elektra is in it's simplicity a mindless action film you can sit, watch and ogle Jennifer Garner for 96 minutes. I enjoyed it but I did come out of it wanting more but then again I read comics.



Dave went to the US and all he brought me back was this lousy dvd. Now admittedly I love to watch shit TV and movies and there is probably a good chance that any shit movie you point at in the video store I have probably watched at some time in my life. Now having said that, this was a pretty bad movie.

Dave's reasoning for buying me this movie was twofold. One, Shannon Tweed was in it and having been a Playboy Playmate of the Year meant that there was a very good chance of nudity and two there was bound to be a lot of explosions in this movie. Unfortunately for me there was no nudity and not even the amusing stunt dying from the explosion could get me into this American / Philippines movie.

For those of you who actually care about the plot here it is, Reb Brown plays military adviser Mark Hardin (inventive name isn't it) who changes side and helps out South American rebels when their rebel leader was killed without trial. Now he is on run with an innocent Sandra Spencer (Shannon Tweed) and teams up with the rebels too. The funniest thing about this movie other than the stunt dying is Brown's moustache.

Now I've watch a lot of shit in my time and mostly because I was suffering from insomnia but this by far has been one of the worse films I have ever seen. At least with the other shit like this they compensate with pointless nudity and sex scenes in The Firing Line we get nothing like that.

I would suggest going out and borrowing this from the video store yourself to see how shit this is but I doubt any will actually have it on their shelves and if they do, do you really want to rent from such a place.



You know you have to buy a game when you see of the back of it "Use ingenious traps and wicked "interrogation" devices to toy with and dispatch obnoxious, overdressed government agents." Well maybe you don't but I did, and with that being said I forked over $69.95 for the pleasure of playing Evil Genius.

The aim of this game is simple, become an evil genius and create a doomsday device. However being an evil genius isn't as easy as you think, you have to ensure that you have plenty of minions and devices to do your evil bidding. While you try to achieve you objective you have to ensure that your evil lair has plenty of room for your minions, the more you have the more you can use them for evil tasks and acts of infamy. You also have to fight off government investigators, agents and tourists.

Evil Genius is very much a cross between a 1960s Bond villain and the Sims. You have to create cover operations to distract everyone away from your lair and what you are doing.

This is a fun game but it really does require some patience to play as often you are waiting on your minions to arrive somewhere or get something before you do what you want. If you like playing strategy games and you have a bit of evil streak then you'll really enjoy this game like I do.


ELEKTRA stars Jennifer Garner, Terrence Stamp, Goran Visnjic, Kirsten Prout & Will Yun Lee. It is rated M. Runs 97 minutes.

THE FIRING LINE stars Reb Brown & Shannon Tweed. It's rated M and runs 91 very long mins.

Jake bought EVIL GENIUS at EB.


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