- - - -
A STORY NO
PARENT
SHOULD
MISS ™
BY JACOB ZHIVOV
July 2, 2003
- - - -
After recently watching the news and 60
Minutes, I have concluded that I may suffer from depression and
could become suicidal. I didn't want to watch 60 Minutes but there
was nothing to watch and they were going to have a story on Pixar
and their new film Finding Nemo. So with nothing else to watch, I
began the horrible realisation that I was watching 60 Minutes and
that I too could have depression.
The first and main Story That No Parent Should Miss™
on the show discussed teenage depression. I thought to myself, "Wow,
how good it is that there was a study released this week about depression
and now 60 Minutes are discussing it". But as they reeled off
the "telltale signs of depression", I started to notice
that I show the very signs they talked about! This not only scared
me, but confused me as well, as I thought I was quite happy with my
place in the world and what I'm doing.
So here are signs that can show you may be DEPRESSED
AND SUICIDAL:
1. NOT PLAYING TEAM SPORTS
According to the study those people who play sports are less likely
to be depressed as this gives them lots of social interaction.
Fuck - I don't play team sports. It's not because I
don't like to play team sports, it's more that I'm not that great
at them. Aussie rules, cricket -- these sports are not for me. Plus
add the fact than I'm a fatter person than most. This means that when
I do try out for these sports I don't get picked for them.
2. SITTING ALONE A LOT
Apparently those people who hang out by themselves can be DEPRESSED
AND SUICIDAL compared to those who are always surrounded by others.
Got me again. I spend a lot of time at home either typing
articles, playing computer games, marking work or just watching TV.
I thought this made me eccentric or was due to the fact that my job
requires me to be in a quiet room to mark the assignments, and same
with my writing so I can finish what I'm doing -- but no, this is
obviously a sign of my depression.
3. ANTI-SOCIAL TENDENCIES
Those who have anti-social tendencies, typified by not wanting to
participate in celebratory displays of support for sporting stars
or other such events, could also have depression. This also means
those who don't want to be "seen" at the right places.
Yes once again another trait of mine. My five year school
reunion is coming up and surprisingly I don't want to go. I also hate
ticker tape parades and other stupid events. I obviously have anti-social
tendencies, especially toward people who really annoy me. This must
be a side effect of the depression I have.
4. WEARING BLACK OR DARK CLOTHING
Wearing black or dark coloured clothing can be a sign of depression.
My wardrobe…full of black stuff. Black jackets,
black jumpers, even black pants. I thought I wore them because they
made me look thinner -- or on a stretch, because I could look arty
in some way -- but no, it's because I'm depressed. I would never have
known.
As I said, I thought I was OK with my place in the universe,
but through scientific studies and 60 Minutes, I can see that I too
may be depressed. Thank you, 60 Minutes, for once again using your
journalistic talents to show me the potential harm I could be facing.
