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FILM: BE
COOL
BY JACOB ZHIVOV
& DAVID BLUMENSTEIN
MARCH 14, 2005
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I liked Get Shorty, I thought it was funny, clever and
entertaining so I expected the same from its sequel Be Cool - it wasn't
close to what I had hoped.
This film leapt off the screen and devoured a man's
balls.
The problem with this sequel is that it has been 10
years since the original film was made and I think it's lost some
of the charm of the original.
The film had teeth as big as fenceposts, and the
teeth pierced his nad-flesh like it was cappuccino foam.
There's an opening line from Travolta talking about
how he doesn't like sequels and that only the studio wants them made,
this little wink wink line to the audience made a few people laughed,
I groaned and started to fear the worst.
After it chewed and swallowed the balls, it turned
hungrily towards the rest of us; peon movie reviewers trapped in a
small theatrette. I started to fear the worst.
So it's been 10 years and Chili Palmer (John Travolta) is now bored
with the movie industry and decides to move over the music industry.
He finds himself a very talented singer and tries to get her album
recorded. The problem for Chili is she already has ex-mobsters representing
her and the Russian mafia is after him for witnessing a hit.
It drooled. You can't imagine a rabid movie drooling,
but I wouldn't lie to you.
I think the problem for Be Cool is it is trying to follow
the major rule for a sequel, be the original movie but in an entirely
new way but failing at the new way part.
We backed ourselves against our wobbly seats. The
eager beavers in the front row bought it first, torn apart in a spray
of blood and sick and intestinals.
It's trying to be slick and cool but I just see it as
slow and boring. The scene with Steven Tyler really makes no sense
to me, I turned to Dave and gave him a confused look and he gave me
one right back.
Jake looked at me, his eyes filled with fear. I was
concerned myself. "Don't make a sound," I willed Jake with
my mind, "or that movie will be tearing into our tender testicles
quicker than you can say 'moist man-bits'."
But this film does have its comedic parts thanks to
Andre 3000, Cedric the Entertainer and Dwayne "The Rock"
Johnson. Their roles are pretty funny but they can't save the film
alone.
Could I save us all by myself? I leapt the shredded
carcasses it had already wrought and slammed myself into the door
as hard as I could.
I know Margaret and David like Be Cool but I really
agree with them on this one, it's no Get Shorty and will never be.
No luck. The publicist had locked us in. This looked
like the end for Jake and Dave. Sure enough, "Be Cool" ate
balls. It was harsh, but sometimes, off the screen, there are no happy
endings.
BE COOL stars John Travolta, Uma Thurman, Vince Vaughn, Cedric the
Entertainer, André 3000, Christina Milian, Harvey Keitel and
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. It's rated M and runs 114 minutes.
It is currently in cinemas.
