- - - -
BLOG
THIS
MOTHER-
FUCKER
BY JACOB ZHIVOV
MAY 2, 2005
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Recently I've been told by several of my friends that
they have started blogging and I "just have to check out their
blog." For starters I never "have" to check anything
out but being the kind person I am, I went and looked at their blog.
After reading a few of them I first had to find something
to justify the time I just spent reading the blog so I wouldn't feel
ashamed that I am wasting my life and hence what I'm writing here
is said justification. Secondly I suddenly found myself having flashbacks
to 1998. It was a time when everyone I knew started up their own websites.
I was being told by almost everyone that I "have to check out
their website" and "how cool it is to be on the web".
You want to know what I saw, pictures of pets and other useless crap.
After about six weeks the fad and enthusiasm for the site dropped
off and so once again I was saved from wasting my life or better yet
being allowed to go back to wasting my life my way.
But this wasn't just localised to my friends, no, you
see in 1998 or so the web was getting some major momentum and some
major popularity. Everyone had given up on dialling into bulletin
boards to download their porn and got their 28.8 modems or if they
were really lucky the new advanced 56.6 modems and started hooking
up to this new thing called the internet mostly for their porn. The
worse thing about new technology is that everyone wants to show how
good they are with it. This was no different with the web and since
people could have themselves up on the web suddenly personal websites
were popping up faster than a cool breeze gives a pubescent teenage
boy a hard on.
However, lucky for most of us like all fads people got
bored of having a website quickly. Another example of a stupid fad
- The Macarena, people thought that song was fucking awesome and now
if you ask anyone about that song they will tell you it was fucking
shit. - So like many things on the internet people stopped this personal
website stuff because they had nothing to fill them with and those
who did have something interesting probably still do. Why? Simple
really, if you having something of interest to offer the world you
keep doing it no matter what the medium. So for some time the internet
returned to what it is good for, allowing people to easy access as
much porn as they can from anywhere in the world.
But back to blogging, you see blogging has become a
new way for people to give meaning to their lives. By blogging you
publish your thoughts in an acceptable diary format for the entire
world to see. But you see much like the personal website paradox many
people don't have anything interesting to say and therefore their
blog is boring as shit.
Now being the "good" IT lecturer I pretend
to be I looked up what blogging is from one of the many reputable
websites I use - whatis.com - and got the official meaning of the
word weblog which is actual term, and this I what it says
"A weblog (sometimes shortened to blog or written
as "web log" or "Weblog") is a Web site of personal
or non-commercial origin that uses a dated log format that is updated
on a daily or very frequent basis with new information about a particular
subject or range of subjects. The information can be written by the
site owner, gleaned from other Web sites or other sources, or contributed
by users.
A weblog often has the quality of being a kind of "log
of our times" from a particular point-of-view. Generally, weblogs
are devoted to one or several subjects or themes, usually of topical
interest, and, in general, can be thought of as developing commentaries,
individual or collective on their particular themes. A weblog may
consist of the recorded ideas of an individual (a sort of diary) or
be a complex collaboration open to anyone. Most of the latter are
moderated discussions."
I'd like to point to a key word in there "usually
of topical interest." I'd like to think that my life has topical
interest to others but I'm a realist, my life is pretty boring much
like yours and therefore you don't care what time I take a shit in
the morning (usually when I get up at 8:30am) or when I eat dinner
(usually at 6pm most nights) because this stuff is no way interesting
to anyone, except maybe to my doctor and I doubt she really cares.
You see my point is that blogs are good for the world
but only if what you're writing about is interesting to people. Like
any good book, movie or mime the shit you're showing me must be interesting
or else like many mimes I'm gonna come over and hit you very hard
or do something very worse like have me write about 900 words about
what your doing and why its bad for society.
So for your sake and mine don't blog unless you've got
something really important to discuss because I don't care about what
time you took a shit but I do care if you're close to discovering
a cure for cancer. And if you need any other reason but this one it
will at least stop me from writing articles like this one that wastes
your time.
